I love Christmas, but it can be stressful at times.  With the hustle and bustle of activities it can get overwhelming at times.  Put children, particularly children with difficulties with change into the mix and the stress multiplies.  Through experience I would like to offer a few tips to reduce the stress that you and your child may experience so that you can have a merrier Christmas.

• Don't decorate the house all in one day.  Apart from being a lot of work, it can make a rapid change for a child who may not make transitions easily.   Instead, decorate one room one day or weekend, and another the next.  Of course, it all depends on how many decorations you intend on putting up, how long it takes, and how resilient your child is to changes.  If your child is quite resistant to changes, I would do it gradually.
• Allow your child to have some “hands on” decorations.  I use a small Christmas tree in my daughter’s room that she is allowed to decorate ("hands off the big tree, this one is yours.")  Give her safe chunky decorations and some shiny tinsel (the best bit.)
• If travelling, make sure to pack old favorites as comfort items.  As fun as new toys are, the old toys are familiar and can be comforting for some.
• Explain to your child what is going to happen.  Make a picture book explaining that you are going to be in the car for a very long time or going on an airplane to visit relatives.  Letting them know what to expect helps to reduce anxiety.  Click below on the file link for a sample story that you can play with to make a story that meets your needs.  The images are from Google.
• Try to keep basic routines.  No one should be made to stick to a rigid schedule all the time, but there is no doubt that schedules do help children to feel safe and less anxious.  Even if you have visitors or are visiting relatives, try to keep a normal bedtime and mealtimes.  If the schedule is going to be interrupted (it happens) then have a snack for your child or have some other contingency plan so that she does not become overly hungry or tired.
• Don’t overbuild the holidays.  This is an exciting time for young children (OK, for grown ups, too.)  Excitement is closely related to anxiety because they share the same kinds of physiological responses.  You want your children to enjoy the holidays, but you do not want them to be too excited.  Try to keep their excitement and interest at an even level.
• Prepare relatives about your child.  If your relatives have not spent a lot of time around your child or someone with Down syndrome, they might be anxious.  Address it openly by acknowledging the situation positively and giving them the basic things they might need to know about your child to put everyone at ease.  Most people aren't interested in genetics, just what to expect and how they should treat your child.  People are often too polite to ask but very grateful for the information.
• Get your rest and look after yourself.  It can be hard to rest and get the right food with all the parties and social gatherings.  Maybe take an afternoon for yourself over the holiday and get a nap or go for a walk.
• Make sure your child has "calm down time" before bedtime.  Children can get very excited with lots of things going on and this can translate into sleep difficulties.  Make sure that before your child is put into bed and lights off, she has time to unwind.  This time should be quiet and involve stories, a warm bath, gentle massage, and maybe even a warm drink.  Making this part of your normal routine greatly helps reduce problems with bedtime.  What you definitely want to avoid is horseplay and lots of activity.

If all this fails, ask a relative to take over and give yourself a break! ;)


© Ann Haig Wheeler, DSC 2009

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