A few weeks ago, I wrote a little piece on my daughter, Allie, and how proud I was of her for achieving the goal of navigating her way to a restroom in an unfamiliar place all on her own.  She had found a waiter and asked where the restroom was and went there and back with no hiccups. 

Well, now we have gone too far the other way.  ANY time we go out, she has to go to the toilet.  I know that she is just practicing a newly mastered skill, but I have to admit that it is getting a bit old.  I had to start practicing with her before going out that she would NOT use the toilet.  She can get into habits very easily and this was quickly becoming one of them.  She has practiced the skill many times and it can not be called a new skill anymore.  We don’t go to restaurants very frequently, but she had generalised the skill to anytime we went out (not very convenient- or sanitary!) 

I am still pleased with her progress and still pleased with the level of independence that she has obtained, but there is always something to think about and some new “situation” to be navigated.  I have just come to accept that.  Actually, it’s true of parenting any child, and the “situations” are often entertaining.  They have to be or parents would drop from mental exhaustion. 

I remember when I finally taught Allie that you have to address people and that saying “hello” to them was a good thing to do.  I was very pleased with this new skill because she used to scream if someone passed by her (tactile issues big time.)  Well, after a few days of doing victory dances, I spent the next few months telling her to STOP saying “hello” to every single human being that came within a mile of her (OK, slight exaggeration but it felt like that.)   I remember being in waiting rooms where she would “work the room” and I’ll never forget a gentleman who tried to hide himself behind a newspaper so that he did not have to respond to the little girl coming to him for the third time.  Before I could get to her and put a stop to the social torture, Allie pulled that man’s newspaper down and demanded that he pay her attention.  He wasn’t following the rule she had learned.  You have to smile (and, of course, apologize profusely.  I’ve come to accept that, too.)

I remember another time that Allie (finally!) got the message that you do not pick up things off of the ground.  (Parent tape #357:  “That’s dirty.  Don’t pick things up from the ground.  Put it down!”)  Well, one day I took Allie to a local park to play on the playground.  I was chatting with a dad not too far away from where the kids were playing.  I turned around to check Allie was still at the slide and saw her sitting on the platform with a dead bird in her hand.  After a major thrust of adrenalin that got me to her in under a second, screaming all the way, she just looked at me with disbelief in her eyes and said “not on ground.”  What could I say?

© Ann Wheeler, DSC 2010

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